| Location | Ireland |
| Age | 0 |
| Date of Birth | 12/01/2007 |
| Date of Death | 12/01/2007 |
| Visitors | 6,192 since 22/02/2007 |
| Creator |
Kieran was born at 33 weeks on the 12 January 2007 to myself and my husband Will, he is our third child.
We found out that I was pregnant at the end of June '06 and we were so happy, our new baby was due on the 2 March '07. Joseph, our son, would be 4 and a half and Ròisìn, our baby, would be 17 months. I had had an ectopic pregnancy in '03 and had found it very hard to conceive after that. So for this pregnancy to happen so soon after Ròisìn was brilliant and we were delighted that they would be so close in age. I felt really well in the first few months. I had no sickness and I was blooming. And then, at the end of October, my consultant told me that there was very little fluid around the baby. I was told to go home and rest for 2 weeks and to come back and hopefully the fluid would be after increasing. At the next appointment the fluid had not increased so I was referred for an anomaly scan. I was referred to an expert who we saw two weeks later. When I was 25 weeks and 3 days pregnant. He confirmed the worst. Our baby had Potter's Syndrome, he had no kidneys and was therefore not "compatible with life". I felt like my heart was going to break in two. How could something like this happen to us. How were we going to be able to bury our baby, and leave the grave yard?? How would we tell Joseph, our son, that our baby who he couldn't wait for was going to die?? They also told us that our baby was going to be a girl. So we decided to call her Annie.
The next few weeks passed in a blur, as we tried to come to terms with what lay ahead of us as well as trying to explain to Joseph without frightening him. Christmas and the New Year came and went and then when I was 32 weeks I started feeling like something was going to happen soon. We had all our arrangements made, I had even baked and frozen cakes for the funeral, we were so prepared. And then, on the evening of Thursday 11 January I was feeling a bit restless. By 10pm I was having regular contractions so we decided to go into hosptial. The contractions were not very strong but as I was only 33 weeks I was afraid that the labour would be fast. We got to the hospital at midnight and the midwife checked me, I had not dilated at all, but since I was having mild contractions they decided to keep me and they would probably start me in the morning. We went to bed and I woke up a couple of hours later, I had 3 pretty bad contractions and then I decided maybe I should be in the labour ward, I just got in the door when I needed to push and our baby was born and of course it was a boy, not a girl as we had thought!!.
Kieran was perfect, he looked just like his big brother. He was born at 3.23 am on 12th January 2007. He was 3lb 2ozs. And my one prayer to God had been answered, he was born alive!! He cried, and opened his eyes. We were able to tell him that we loved him so much and try to cram a lifetime of hugs and kisses into a few moments. We were laughing and crying at the same time. He was so perfect. My Aunt lives close to the hospital so she arrived 20 minutes later. The hosptial chaplain then arrived to baptize Kieran and we held him in the Christening gown that our other children and me and my sisters and brother all wore. And it was lovely and heartbreaking at the same time. At 4.25 am, just over an hour after his birth, Kieran died in our arms. It was so peaceful, he just slipped away. I will treasure that precious hour forever.
Will's sister and my mother and sister all arrived a few minutes after Kieran died, they all got to hold and cuddle him. And during the whole day all our families came to see us in hosptial. We kept Kieran with us the whole time until we laid him to rest on Saturday 13 January. The service was beautiful, we played "Tears in Heaven" and released white baloons as Will and Kierans godfather/uncle, James, lowered his little coffin into the ground. We told Joseph and Ròisìn that the baloons would show Kieran the way to heaven, but I think it was as much for my benefit, I didn't want to see the coffin go into the ground, I was so devistated. I couldn't bear to think that we would not get to see our baby grow up, take his first step or get to know his big brother and sister. And Ròisìn is so young she will not remember him.
Kieran is our third child and he will forever be in our hearts.
.
If I could have a lifetime wish
A dream that would come true
I’d pray to God with all my heart
For yesterday and you
A thousand words won’t bring you back
I know because I’ve tried
And neither will a thousand tears
I know because I’ve cried
You’ve left behind my broken heart
And happy Memories too
But we never wanted Memories
We only wanted you.
***********************
There will always be a heartache,
And often silent tears,
But always precious memories
Of the time that you were here.
I hold you close within my heart,
And there you will remain,
To be with me throughout my life.
Until we meet again.
Do Babies Grow Up in Heaven?
by Unknown
Will I know my baby when we meet again?
Will he have grown up, not be the infant that died in my arms?
Will I recognize him, be able to find him among so many others?
Or will he be a stranger to me, not knowing who I am,
or me knowing him?
Do babies grow up in heaven?
He never got his first tooth, or said his first words.
No first shoes, no Santa, no first birthday cake.
Will my son still be a baby when we meet again?
Do babies grow up in heaven?
Who sings him precious lullabies?
Who holds him close and kisses him everyday?
Who tells him constantly that they love him?
Do babies grow up in heaven?
When we next meet, will he know me?
Will he want to know me?
Will he be my son who died at an hour old, or a man, fully grown?
Will I have the joy of being a mother to my son for all eternity?
Do babies grow up in heaven?
Will I be able to hold him, love him, sing lullabies to him?
Will I be able to hold his tiny hand, or will it be a man's hand?
Will I ever have the joy that only holding my son can bring?
I need to know! In heaven, is my baby still a baby?
Happy 4th Birthday Kieran
Hugs and kisses always
Love Mammy & Daddy.
x
In our Hearts (adapted by Jean Gifford)
We thought of you with love today
But that is nothing new
We thought about you yesterday
And days before that too
We think of you in silence
We remember how you look
Now all we have are memories
And your pictures in a book
Your memory is our keepsake
With which we’ll never part
God has you in his keeping
We have you in our heart.
Miss you so much little honey.
x
Grattis på 3-årsdagen
Grattis hjärtat. Hoppas att du har haft en bra dag med alla våra kära som gått före oss. Ullis är grym på att göra goda tårtor och bullar, hoppas att du har fått njuta av dom idag.
Blir helt förstörd när jag läser vad din mamma skriver till dig. Ingen kan någonsinn förstå hur hon och din pappa har det..... Det finns inget som vi kan göra för att trösta dom. Tack gode gud att dom har dina syskon.
Kan inte fatta att det är 3 år sedan vi kasta oss på ett plan och åkte för att välkomna dig till världen. Du var så himla liten och söt och jag är så stolt över att vara din gudmor.
Älskar dig vårat lilla ängla barn.
Happy Birthday In Heaven - by Winnie Lovett
"Happy Birthday Kieran"
It's sure to be the best one yet,
Though you left us here behind.
Did you think that we'd forget?
Your cake this year, will surely be,
A beauty to behold.
With the icing made of Silver,
And the candles made of Gold.
Yes, your birthday in Heaven,
Will be such a grand affair.
And I know you'll look so lovely,
With a halo in your hair.
The Angels will come from everywhere,
To sing your birthday song.
And I know they'll be so happy,
That you've joined, God's Happy Throng.
No I can't send a card this year,
Or give a gift so fine.
So I'll just send a special prayer,
To that wonderful Son of yours.
Happy Birthday my love.
It's all wrong, you should be here to celebrate your birthday...
I love you so much, I just wish you were here so I could tell you.
It's been 3 years now and it still shocks me to think that you, our little precious baby, died and we had to bury your little body in the cold winter ground. How did we do it, how did we walk away and leave you?? I'll never know. I don't know how many times I wanted to go and dig your body up just to hold you again, even though you were gone... I had to stop myself, knowing that you were so close... it was heartbreaking, still is. Sometimes in my dreams I think I'm going to wake up and realise it's all a horrible nightmare, but of course it's not. Only for your Daddy & Joseph, Roisin & Caoimhe I really would have gone mad...your dad is one in a million, he keps me sane and tells me to cop on when I lose the plot...
I hope you have loads of people to take care of you up there...
Love you always.
Mammy
xxx
My son, is it beautiful in Heaven
Is it anything you want it to be
Can it be a great big playground
Can you sit all day by the sea
Can you be friends with everyone around you
No hatred, only love insight
and everyday is there something new
and is everything always right
My son, is it beautiful in Heaven
And do they always treat you right
Do they sing you lullabies
and tuck you in at night
and do you dream about me
like I dream about you
Of the time we meet again
and of all the things we'll do
My son, is it beautiful in Heaven
is it anything you want it to be
can you fly on the back of an eagle
and see everything you want to see
I wish I were there beside you
To guide you along the way
But, you are mommy's big boy now
and you can guide me along Heaven someday
Hi baby,
I can't belive that it's already 3 years since we were trying to come to terms with the fact that you were not going to stay with us... I remember christmas '06 so well... trying to have some little happiness and create nice memories while you were still alive in me, all the time knowing that with the New Year would come so much sadness and pain.. I think New Years Eve will never be the same again.... My life is now before and after you were here, I'm so changed in every way. Time has gone so fast.. it feels like so long ago since I held you and kissed your soft downey hair.. I wish I could go back to the day you were born, I'd be selfish I wouldn't share you with anyone... You have filled my heart with so much love, but my heart is a gaping hole aching for more... We speak about you all the time... Roisin was saying only today that her best big boy is daddy, her best litte boy is Joseph, her best big girl is me, her best little girl is Caoimhe and her best baby angel is you... it's just all wrong.. you should be her best little brother... you should be here too.
I love you so much Kieran.
Please look after your new little cousin on the way, make sure he/she gets here safely...send him soon, he's already 3 days late!!
mummy has just messaged me hope i can draw some comfort from her words i know you would have found a freind in ronnie and know you will both be playing together happily complete and free from pain in heavens playground
sleep tight little ones xoxoxo
Dear Kieran,
I think of you every day & treasure the time you spent with us,you were a beautiful baby & your Daddy & Mammy loved you very much,as did your big brother Joseph & sister Roisin.You also have another gorgeous little sister Caoimhe since.I know someday we will all meet you again in Heaven & we send you hugs & kisses until then.
Love Aunty Mary & Raymond
My baby
Kieran I miss you so much, not an hour goes by that you don't pop into my head for some reason or another, just like Joseph, Roisin & Caoimhe. I just wish that like them you would be here & part of everyday family life, rather than our forever baby that we never get to see only in our dreams, memories & photos.
I wish I could go back to the 12 January 2007, the day of your birth, just once, so I could tell you again how much I love you and kiss & hug you. Only this time I wouldn't share you with anyone, I'd be selfish & wouldn't let anyone else come to see you, I would hold you myself for the full time that we had you, those few hours that we had you, have to last a lifetime & I wouldn't let anyone take a second of that time from me.
A part of me struggles each and everyday with the fact that I'm never again going to get to hold you and I can't belive it, it breaks my heart each and every day, over and over. And no matter how many children we have our family will never be complete without you here.
I love you baby, I just wish I could tell YOU....
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